The Lie of Female Success & How It’s Keeping You Stuck, Unfulfilled & Drained

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December 20, 2018

#84 | Feeling Good Isn’t The Point: Jumping Off the Treadmill of Fake Success and Rethinking “Positivity” with Amber Rae

About This Episode

“As kids, we are filled with so much wonder and curiosity, and then our society conditions us to worry. So how do we reclaim our sense of wonder?”

Amber Rae is an unstoppable force–she has been called a “Millennial Motivator” by Fortune and “The Brené Brown of Wonder” by Mind Body Green, featured in The New York Times, The CUT, TIME, TODAY, Fast Company, BBC, ABC World News, Tim Ferriss’s blog, and more, and is celebrated for her work as a speaker, artist, and the author of Choose Wonder Over Worry. Amber’s work is focused on normalizing the conversation around our emotions and allowing ourselves to be open to the full scope of the human experience.

“I have carved a life that is in line with my values and the life I want to live. It isn’t about external validation. It is about knowing what my truth is and living in alignment with that truth.”

Join us for a conversation about rediscovering the wonder you had as a child, escaping the dangers of excessive positivity, and following your own voice while still learning the lessons of the people who came before you.

“Femininity is connecting to Source, listening to intuition, and letting the call of adventure guide the way.”

With a strong-willed, entrepreneurial mother who included Amber in her business from an early age, it is no surprise that by kindergarten, she was making conversation with adults at her mother’s business dinners and calculating the profits on her new jewelry business. After college, Amber moved to Silicon Valley and made a name for herself there–but something was wrong. She was “positive” all the time, but with Adderall and positivity being the only things pushing her forward, Amber eventually had a severe panic attack. Afterward, she sold everything and moved to New York, where she hustled and created and found her missing sense of wonder.

“I was a robot on a treadmill trying to fake success.”

In this episode, Amber shares how her relationship with her mother has influenced her life as an entrepreneur, her tips for connecting to Source and your intuition on a daily basis, and her advice for Girlskill listeners who are trying to find their purpose, wonder, and curiosity.

“If we can create life, then we can truly create anything.”

Links

Amber on Instagram

Read Amber’s Book – Choose Wonder Over Worry

Amber Rae Online

Tools & Resources Mentioned

People/Blogs to Follow

  • Julia Cameron – Julia B. Cameron is an American teacher, author, artist, poet, playwright, novelist, filmmaker, composer, and journalist. She is most famous for her book The Artist’s Way. She also has written many other non-fiction works, short stories, and essays, as well as novels, plays, musicals, and screenplays.
  • Elizabeth Gilbert – Elizabeth M. Gilbert is an American author, essayist, short story writer, biographer, novelist, and memoirist. She is best known for her 2006 memoir, Eat, Pray, Love, which as of December 2010 had spent 199 weeks on the New York Times Best Seller list, and which was also made into a film by the same name in 2010.
  • Oprah – Oprah Winfrey is an American media executive, actress, talk show host, television producer, and philanthropist. She is best known for her talk show The Oprah Winfrey Show, which was the highest-rated television program of its kind in history and was nationally syndicated from 1986 to 2011 in Chicago.
  • Brene Brown – Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past ten years studying vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame. She spent the first five years of her decade-long study focusing on shame and empathy and is now using that work to explore a concept that she calls Wholeheartedness.
  • Mari Andrew – Mari (it rhymes with starry) is a writer, illustrator, speaker, and aspiring flamenco enthusiast, living in New York. She values optimism, resilience, vulnerability, and joie de vivre. She does not value “having chill.”
  • Austin Kleon – Austin Kleon is a New York Times bestselling author of three books: Steal Like an Artist; Show Your Work!; and Newspaper Blackout. Kleon’s works focus on creativity in today’s world.
  • Elle Luna (#The100DayProject) – Elle paints, designs, and writes. She previously worked as a designer at IDEO and with teams on apps and websites, including Medium, Mailbox, and Uber. She speaks to groups around the world sharing the story of “The Crossroads of Should and Must,” and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her new book, Your Story Is Your Power, co-authored with Susie Herrick, is due March 2018.

Recommended Books

  • The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron – Have you ever longed to be able to draw or paint, write or compose music? With The Artist’s Way, you can discover how to unlock your latent creativity and make your dreams a reality. With the basic principle that creative expression is the natural direction of life, Julia Cameron leads you through a comprehensive 12-week program to recover your creativity from a variety of blocks, including limiting beliefs, fear, self-sabotage, jealousy, guilt, addictions and other inhibiting forces, replacing them with artistic confidence and productivity.
  • Choose Wonder Over Worry by Amber Rae – Journey with inspirational speaker and artist AMBER RAE as she connects you with your voice of worry and wonder, teaches you to listen to your emotions rather than silence them, and encourages you to seize your dreams. Through a thoughtful blend of vulnerability, soulfulness, and science, Amber Rae guides you in expressing the fullness of who you are and the gifts you’re here to give.
  • Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert – Readers of all ages and walks of life have drawn inspiration and empowerment from Elizabeth Gilbert’s books for years. Now, this beloved author digs deep into her own generative process to share her wisdom and unique perspective about creativity. With profound empathy and radiant generosity, she offers potent insights into the mysterious nature of inspiration. She asks us to embrace our curiosity and let go of needless suffering. She shows us how to tackle what we most love, and how to face down what we most fear. She discusses the attitudes, approaches, and habits we need in order to live our most creative lives.
  • Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed – Life can be hard: your lover cheats on you, you lose a family member, you can’t pay the bills. But it can be pretty great, too: you’ve had the hottest sex of your life, you get that plum job, you muster the courage to write your novel. Every day across the world, people go through the full and glorious gamut of life – but sometimes, a little advice is needed.
  • Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck – In this book, you’ll start by learning how to read the internal compasses already built into your brain and body–and why you may have spent your life ignoring their signals. As you become reacquainted with your own deepest desires, you’ll identify and repair any unconscious beliefs or unhealed emotional wounds that may be blocking your progress.

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