The Lie of Female Success & How It’s Keeping You Stuck, Unfulfilled & Drained

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September 17, 2018

My Journey to Becoming a Femininity Coach & Finding a Business Model That Feels True with Anna Rova

The Trap

January 2017. I’m living in Mexico with my fiancee which looks like a life I’ve always dreamed of. I’m working online and making pretty good money doing something I am good at.

My Instagram photos are all amazing and the filters are getting more and more sophisticated. I am living this “perfect life” on the outside but inside there is big turmoil. It’s like there is a big heavy question mark I’m carrying in my heart. I realize that the job I’m doing in online marketing is not fulfilling.

At all.

My biggest symptom was that I stopped caring. I rarely give up on the qaulity of work that I do so this complete apathy towards a job that I have to endure for eight hours a day was softly eating me from inside. It would have eaten me alive until there would be nothing left besides a fat, dark question mark in my whole body.

I decide to quit.

Without a plan and with a bit of savings and three months to do nothing and just explore. And boy, did I explore.

What is my passion?! Who am I?! What do I want to do next?!

My impatient personality type wanted to know all the answers. The big question mark needed to be erased as quickly as possible.

But this time I did something different. I didn’t set an agenda. There was no specific timeline. No expectations. I kind of let my soul roam free.

I decided to write about my journey to self-discovery. (So cute looking back and seeing how I was so excited about sharing my journey! Btw, idea #1 is now my coaching business! Read on.)

I also booked my 200-hour yoga teacher training in Bali as well as was planning my wedding in Moldova.

After three months of writing on Medium I became a top writer in travel, relationships and love — something I totally didn’t expect.

Today people tell me “Anna, you write so well! I resonate with your words and your story, please don’t stop!” and I still am quite surprised and bewildered by such comments because I never thought of myself as a writer. I guess my big fat question mark wanted to come out so bad that expression was my only way out.

I think writing is like thinking. Whatever you think — you write. Just put it all down. No expectations. Just write your first draft. I did it daily for three months. Eventually, I came up with a process and was hitting the publish button twice a week.

I’m don’t think I am a great writer (yet.) I just committed to showing up consistently, expressing myself and I let it be. I let the work live on its own. I released my attached from it. I believe that even the worst writers sooner or later become good at it with enough curiosity of expression and a desire to perfect this craft.

The Magic

As time went by something magical happened. I have unknowingly created space in my mind, body and soul to really explore what the f*ck do I want and who I am behind all the layers of what parents, friends and society told me I needed to be. I spent a lot of time journaling and writing and just having fun.

Doing nothing was so good.

We live in a society where there is too much noise. We loose ourselves in other people’s Instagram and Facebook posts, news and media and movies. It’s so hard to tune in to yourself unless you consciously, through vigorous practice and discipline turn the noise down and turn the volume up on your own voice.

We’re just so f*cking busy ALL THE TIME. Busyness and intellectualization is the #1 killer for all source of life in women. We stopped dancing, creating, having deep conversations with girlfriends and feeling our pleasure. We are like robots with vaginas walking around trying to have a perfect life with perfect bodies.

So once I tuned in, I realized that what I really craved was to fully express myself, be on stage, be who I was meant to be — a natural leader and a creative woman full of life and passion.

I remembered how as a little girl I loved being in plays and in the center of attention. I always had the ability to involve people in whatever the plan was, motivate them to join my cause and have an inspirational effect on them. I also had a very strong sense of internal confidence and knew what I wanted. High school, college and post-graduate years were no different. Although, I had this marketing and business career and a “successful” job I was always producing music videos, organizing photoshoots and craving creative production experiences. It became very clear that I need to be “on stage.”

I remembered how alive I felt running my first podcast ManInside Show where I was interviewing men about women and relationships. The excitement of booking guests, preparing questions, the nervousness of actually interviewing strangers about he intimate details of their relationships. The vulnerability, the thrill, the rawness of it all. The moment I hit the publish button. I even managed to interview John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are from Venus on my little one-woman podcast show.

What I loved about that experience was that I was running my own thing and making my own creative decisions that were actually working and people were loving it. I got to have deep, meaningful conversations about life, relationships and the depth of human experience.

I loved all of it.

After 43 interviews with men and meeting the man of my dreams, I realized that I wasn’t interested in men anymore— I started being more interested in how these conversations, research and my own lived experience changed me as a woman.

Girlskill Podcast

So Girlskill Podcast was born.

I launched it on October 13, 2017 with a great website, some pretty awesome branding and eight interviews recorded in advance. I decided to embark on a journey of exploring what female success really is because I saw that the modern notion of success and female empowerment doesn’t really work for me. I knew deep down that rediscovering and exploring my femininity and womanhood is the path to success so I was curious to find out what other women think.

But this time things were different.

This podcast was to become a business. I didn’t know how and I didn’t know when, but I had a partner who believed in me and a little bit of money to invest in building the audience first.

The podcast has been quite a success in terms of download numbers, the feedback and the guests I’m able to attract. Mostly, it’s successful because of the conversations I’m able to facilitate with women around the world from all walks of life.

However, the podcast was bleeding $1,500-$2,000 every month not counting the initial investment that went into the launch and I desperately needed to find a business model that felt true to me. I could have gone 100 different ways with this and I did try a couple of ways to monetize.

But monetizing a podcast is a long-term journey so I wasn’t really prepared for that. I thought it’s all going to go well and by month three I will be rich and successful.

One thing I did right is I followed my intuition and didn’t give in to all these marketing/business gimmicks that bring you more traffic and money in an instant with click-bait headlines, drop-shipping or whatever else people make quick money on.

I wanted to build it properly and diligently, no matter how long it would take. The more I persevered, the stronger my message became and the more my voice solidified. I was committed to making it work no matter what. Every day I showed up to record episodes, create podcast covers, write up shownotes and contact new guests.

But I still wasn’t really sure about how I’m going to make money with this and what niche am I going to occupy with all this.

Yeah, femininity and female success is great but where do I go from here?

The Right Business Model

One random February evening while preparing another awesome episode, I stumbled upon a woman who was offering Feminine Embodiment Coaching Certification and something deep down inside clicked and I signed up for a discovery call to talk more about what this is.

Important note: I have worked in the personal growth industry for about 5 years prior to that so the idea of “becoming a coach” was repulsive to me. Perhaps because I’ve seen the ugly business side of personal growth and all the seemingly amazing coaches out there or perhaps I just knew that most coaches are kind of broke so I didn’t really want to go there.

But the calling was stronger than me so I had to follow it.

After asking 100 questions and grilling my mentor and teacher on the discovery call, I signed up for for the 6-month Feminine Embodiment Certification Coaching Training — the biggest investment in myself to this day (mid 4-figures.)

Three major things happened during the next 6 months:

  1. I have completely revamped my relationship to coaching and becoming a coach and saw an example of coaching that was authentic and full of integrity. I realized that coaching women to their deepest desires and uncovering the layers of self-judgment, criticism and unworthiness was the most fulfilling thing I could ever do. Running a coaching business not only became real and tangible but something I really could see myself doing. I have gone on a personal embodiment journey and watched myself and the relationship with my body transform and I became convinced that this is the work I need to be doing. I have learned incredible coaching tools and became confident in my ability to coach women.
  2. I ran my first group program with seven women that I called “Rediscover Your Success” which was a great success!

  1. I became pregnant and went through one the most challenging experience of my life as a woman to this day.

Pregnancy was something I didn’t expect and didn’t really plan for and it has affected the business quest in a really good way and a really bad way.

When I finished my first group program and made my first $1,000 online, I was ready to rock and roll with my next group program in a couple of months (double the price) as well as starting to offer my 1–1 coaching packages. I was on such a high!

Full of confidence, my steam engine was ready to go and I was ready to take on the world.

Well, the World Had Other Plans.

Just when I was ready to launch, morning sickness has kicked in and I was literally in bed for the next two months. I was devastated, went into a depression and was questioning my identity and life in general.

I wasn’t prepared for all the physical, emotional and energetic changes that hit me like a storm. I had to hit a pause button on my life and business and just sit and wait until it all passes or changes…

I came to the conclusion that I had to surrender. Nature was taking over. My body was growing a human and I couldn’t fight against nature no matter how much I tried. So I let it go.

After about two months of nothingness in my life and business (Girlskill was still bleeding $1,500 every month in production, VA and maintenance costs,) it became very clear that we either had to close down Girlskill or do something drastic with it.

Luckily, I was passing into my second trimester of pregnancy (which is the best one out of the three) and I have started gaining energy back and actually could get up out of bed not feeling like a truck had run over me.

Closing down or pausing until next year after I bounce back from maternity leave wasn’t really an option for me because I couldn’t imagine doing nothing for the next year. (Doing nothing is good in the exploration stage but when you’re sitting on a gold-mine of potential doing nothing feels like a passing up a really good deal.) I knew that I would literally die or starve creatively if I did nothing.

My husband told me that it is better to really do nothing than to spend $1,500 every month on a “hobby” which by this time was just a hobby. I agreed. I didn’t have a business.

The fact that I made my first $1,000 online doesn’t make my podcast a business.

Becoming Fierce

I went on an intense 2-week search and exploration of what to do next.

Deep down I knew that I had to give Girlskill a chance. The truth was that I saw the change femininity and embracing womanhood has done in my life (including attracting my husband and getting pregnant) that I couldn’t let it go that easily.

So I went into a fight mostly with myself.

Surprisingly, pregnancy has helped me tremendously on this quest to win no matter what. Because I was now on a deadline with a growing baby inside, I felt a creative energy and power that I’ve never experienced before. This experience gave me an incredible insight into the role I, as a woman, play in society and in the world and I had become determined to use this as my fuel to further expand my message of “The Life of Female Success” today and how women are ruining their lives and their health by following the female empowerment pseudo-success slogans.

I became fierce in writing and sharing my message. While being respectful to other women’s experiences and opinions I was ready to show up as me.

NO more hiding, being politically correct or trying not to offend anyone. I was done with standing behind the bush and kind of talking about the problem I see with female empowerment today.

I wasn’t there to convince or please anyone anymore. I was sharing my lived experience, the conclusions I made from more than 100 women I’ve interviewed on the podcast, my coaching clients and the books and research I have done. Slowly, I was becoming the woman I wanted to be.

I recorded a webinar “The Lie of Female Success & How It’s Keeping You Stuck, Drained and Unfulfilled” where I talk about everything I knew to be wrong in how women are being “empowered” today and the solutions I have implemented in my own life that have helped me get in touch with who I am as a woman, create and live my own version of success.

At the end of the webinar I tell women that if this message resonates with them and they would like to work further and really change their life, they should sign up for a free 1–1 discovery call. We’ve set up all the pages for the webinar, I wrote about 16 emails for this webinar/coaching funnel and have launched our coaching funnel.

My Signature Coaching System

During this time I have successfully graduated from the Feminine Embodiment Coaching Certification training together with another 26 women and I have developed my Signature Coaching System designed to help women:

  • Become deeply connected to themselves as women, understand what true femininity is, embracing their natural cycle and finally becoming free, lighter and open
  • Craft and live according to their own version of success doing work that inspires and ignites them every day
  • Let go of overworking, perfectionism and control by overcoming limiting beliefs, patterns, and obstacles to rediscover their worth and enough-ness and rebuilding faith in their own voice and decisions
  • Understand and appreciate men, create a deeper, richer relationship with their partners cultivating polarity and sexual attraction
  • Let their bodies lead, stop overthinking and start trusting their gut & heart when making decisions, embracing or expanding their full range of emotions, cultivating a sense of awareness & pleasure and feeling more without apologizing for it

Women have started signing up for the webinar, leaving feedback and getting into free discovery calls. I have also been extending personal invitations to various women who want to jump on a free 1–1 call with me and discuss where they are today in their womanhood and success journey, where they want to be and how I can help with some insights and taking the next steps.

Women I usually work with are:

  • In transition who are looking for a different way to connect to themselves and their femininity
  • Have this “perfect” life on the outside and have achieved “success” based on society’s description of it but deep down know there is something missing
  • Women who want to contribute to the world and people around them in a deeper, powerful, feminine way
  • Women who want to be more present and authentic in their relationships
  • Women who know there is more to life and are ready to step up and invest in their self-development
  • Switching careers or businesses and want to make sure that this “next” path will be aligned to what they really want
  • Women who have gone the traditional path of success and realized it’s not really working

These women want to feel more relaxed, less anxious, lighter and free. They want clarity and focus, be more present, feel radiant and alive. They want a job that’s fulfilling or a business that is fulfilling their purpose. They know there is more to their life, their body, their craft, and their relationships.

They want a deeper, richer and more sensual life. They want to finally not give a f*ck about what others think and just be them fully, no reservations. They want to know what it really means to be a woman in a female body and how to create a powerful meaningful relationship with life and the world.

I’m signing on clients as we speak and it feels incredible to witness this model coming into play and becoming a business. I am truly loving the work I’m doing with women and there is nothing else I would rather be doing (besides chilling in Mexico drinking pina coladas in-between coaching sessions.)

I know there is a long journey ahead, especially with the birth of my first child and maternity leave. But I am ready for this journey and I am extremely proud that I did have faith and gave Girlskill and myself (and the baby!) a chance.


By the way, if you’re interested in speaking with me on a free 1–1 discovery call and discuss where you are today in your womanhood and success journey, where you want to be and how I can help with some insights and taking the next steps, you can book your session here >>>

I highly recommend that you do watch The Lie of Female Success webinar first because it will give you an exact idea of what kind of work I do and the journey we’ll be taking together.
B

ut, before you do, please know that this is not for everyone. So in order for us not to waste each other’s times, if you’re a woman who finds herself in the descriptions below, please do not book.

I am not working with women who:

  • Are looking for a quick fix to their issues
  • Are not ready to show up, face their fears and truly do the work
  • Are not ready to take full responsibility for their thoughts, actions, and their life
  • Are not ready to invest in themselves

But if you are a woman who’s ready for this transformation work, go ahead and book our session now >>>

I’m looking forward to speaking with you!

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