The Lie of Female Success & How It’s Keeping You Stuck, Unfulfilled & Drained

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July 26, 2018

Pregnancy, First Trimester Hell & Connecting to Feminine Power with Anna Rova

About This Episode

“Felicidades! Estas embarazada!!!”

After a devastating couple of months, it feels like I’m emerging out of the depths of the misery of my first trimester. I literally almost gave up at the end of it. I didn’t want anything. I didn’t have an interest in anyone. Some mornings I was waking up, dragging myself to the yoga mat, only to lay there and cry. For days and hours, I just laid on the couch mindlessly staring into the empty corner of the living room, the floor or some useless Netflix movie or series.

Nothing was exciting. I started questioning life and why I’m here. I was so apathetic; I was missing parties, yoga classes, salsa and other stuff. I didn’t have the physical or emotional energy. It was mostly hormones, I assume, but something more profound than that struck me.

I was frustrated that I have to go through this and not String. Why?

Why do I have to go through nausea, tiredness, anemia, and anxiety and he doesn’t? I started fearing for my future body… Stretch marks, crazy extended over-sucked breasts. Flappy belly and the extra weight. Having the baby chained to my breasts. Not having a normal life again. I want to go diving for f*ck sake!!! Why can’t I go dancing, getting high, trying crazy things like I usually do?!!? Why!! My life is gone forever. That was me for like two months.

No wait, that was not me. That was a confused, scared, hormone infused, overwhelmed and crazy me. I know now because the normal me is back. I am quite excited about the baby now!!! It took a couple of stages to get here. I had a session with a psychotherapist (highly recommended!) and many talks with girlfriends and family. I have a supportive husband who was running around ice-cream or whatever else I wanted. Who dropped everything and came home to take care of me when I was throwing up.

I went from anger, frustration, disappointment, fear, and confusion to acceptance, surrendering and letting go. I just gave in. I looked at my tattoo daily:

“It is what it is.
We are where we’re at.
This too shall pass.”

It did pass. And here I am. In full awe and appreciation. And gratitude. I’m excited. In love with life and in fact, I find advantages! I have a team now!!! Like it’s me and her who are tackling life! I feel the creative life and force. Like I’m not alone. We can do all this together. Take on business, life or anything together! Weird stuff, I know! Curious if any new moms experienced this.

“This is the first time that I have been so connected to the animalistic, instinctual nature of being a woman and creating life.”

Note to Listeners: If you love the Solo episodes and want to hear more each month, leave a rating and review on iTunes (help a pregnant lady in the process!)

P. S. Sign up for the newly released training on “The Lie of Female Success & How It’s Keeping You Stuck, Unfulfilled & Drained.” Here is what you will learn on this exclusive, one-of-a-kind training:

  • The Modern Female Epidemic that’s keeping women confined, unhappy & unfulfilled
  • Where the Journey to Success actually begins & how did we all get here
  • The Essential Forgotten Element to any woman’s “successful life”
  • The Secret to Attracting, Sustaining & Magnifying the relationship that you want
  • The True Power & Definition of femininity & masculinity
  • The #1 Reason for Feeling Numb, stuck in your head & sensually asleep

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Tools & Resources Mentioned

Pregnancy Apps:

  • Ovia – Ovia Health supports women, from preconception and pregnancy through postpartum and parenthood, as they navigate their most important health and life decisions. We partner with leading employers to provide a personalized maternity benefits solution that prevents healthcare costs and creates a family-friendly workplace. We also help brands connect with women who are making daily decisions to improve the wellbeing of both themselves and their families.
  • The Bump – Pregnancy Countdown is the #1 app for first-time moms, providing features you won’t find anywhere else:
    • NEW: Planner+: Prepares every mom-to-be for each doctor visit
    • EXCLUSIVE: Inside The Bump: an interactive 3D visualization of baby’s growth
    • Daily, award-winning pregnancy and baby editorial articles
    • Real-time answers to all your questions: “Is this normal?” “Is this safe?”
    • The largest catalog of baby products and reviews across all major retailers

Girlskill Episodes Mentioned:

  • Supermom of Five on Releasing Guilt & Celebrating Self-care with Simone Angell – Simone gets up at 4:30 every day and hits the gym to take care of her needs first. This supermom has been pregnant and breastfeeding for almost six years straight. She had learned the hard way that taking care of herself first and saying NO is her top priority. She doesn’t feel guilty anymore for taking time off.
  • Aligning Your Life & Monthly Cycle with the Moon with Lydia Jarjoura – Discover why and how women’s menstrual cycles are aligned with the moon and how we can plan not only our months but also our whole lives around our monthly cycles. Learn practical tips on how to start tracking your cycle today and how to regulate your cycle if it is irregular.
  • Naked Yoga, Pleasure Wands & Sexual Liberation with Rosie Rees – Imagine a 3.5-hour yoga class… naked. Discover the details of the journey of vulnerability, self-acceptance, and courage to find out how nude yoga will transform your relationship with your body. Find out why you should throw away all vibrators and instead, use natural stone pleasure wands and yoni eggs for self-pleasure.

Pregnancy Books:

  • Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth: Updated With New Material by Ina May Gaskin – Drawing upon her thirty-plus years of experience, Ina May Gaskin, the nation’s leading midwife, shares the benefits and joys of natural childbirth by showing women how to trust in the ancient wisdom of their bodies for a healthy and fulfilling birthing experience. Based on the female-centered Midwifery Model of Care, Ina May’s Guide to Natural Childbirth gives expectant mothers comprehensive information on everything from the all-important mind-body connection to how to give birth without technological intervention.
  • The Natural Baby Sleep Solution: Use Your Child’s Internal Sleep Rhythms for Better Nights and Naps by Polly Moore – Based on the human rest and activity cycle that occurs every hour and a half, here’s a scientifically based program for parents to help babies get all the sleep they need, both through the night and during the day. The method is simple, foolproof, and yields long-lasting results: truly restful daytime naps (which also gives an infant a head start on cognitive development and emotional intelligence) and consistent nighttime sleep—as beneficial for parents as it is for the baby.
  • Mindful Hypnobirthing: Hypnosis and Mindfulness Techniques for a Calm and Confident Birth by Sophie Fletcher – Hypnotherapist and experienced doula Sophie Fletcher shares with you the secrets to having a safe, natural and positive birth. Using a powerful combination of mindfulness, hypnosis and relaxation techniques, Sophie will ensure you feel genuinely excited and completely prepared for birth.
  • Misconceptions: Truth, Lies, and the Unexpected on the Journey to Motherhood by Naomi Wolf  – In Misconceptions, bestselling author Naomi Wolf she demythologizes motherhood and reveals the dangers of common assumptions about childbirth. With uncompromising honesty she describes how hormones eroded her sense of independence, ultrasounds tested her commitment to abortion rights, and the keepers of the OB/GYN establishment lacked compassion. The weeks after her first daughter’s birth taught her how society, employers, and even husbands can manipulate new mothers. She had bewildering postpartum depression, but learned that a surprisingly high percentage of women experience it.

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