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May 2, 2019

#102 | Sex Dungeons, Taoist Nuns and The Bittersweet Victory of the Independent Woman with Kasia Urbaniak

About This Episode

Kasia Urbaniak is the founder and CEO of The Academy, a school that teaches women about power and power dynamics. She has helped hundreds of women step into leadership positions in their personal and professional lives. Her teachings come from 10 years of working as a dominatrix, while she also practiced Taoist alchemy in one of the oldest female-led monasteries in China and obtained dozens of certifications in different disciplines, including Medical Qi Gong and Systemic Constellations.

“If my heart can’t be broken by whatever I am attempting to do, then it is not worth doing.”

Join us for a conversation about the power of connecting to our animal bodies, our empathetic souls, and the possibilities of our modern human experience.

“We should be running towards heartbreak–it is the place were ecstasy lives. I’m not talking about self-destruction, I’m talking about doing something you give a fuck about.”

Kasia’s career as a dominatrix started as a way to pay for college and her Taoist studies. She learned to diagnose, heal, fight, and meditate–but she also learned to read people’s bodies, to see their desires and motivations, and to fill a room with sexual energy and power without touching someone. As she worked her way through the underground world of the New York City dungeon scene, she connected to the memories of her mysterious father figure who had passed away when she was a teenager, and developed an understanding of the connection between the mind, body, and spirit that fed both sides of her life–the dungeon and the monastery.

“The word femininity is so loaded. It is like ‘I Love You.’ It never means the same thing twice.”

In this episode, Kasia shares with us her views on the power of empathy, the dangers of living a disembodied life, and the freedom of living a life that isn’t an unnecessary performance. Kasia spent years studying the creation of human experience, identity, and role creation in the social laboratory of the dungeon, and now she is sharing her knowledge with her students, her readers, and the Girlskill audience.

“If being me is my job, I cannot fail.”

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Kasia’s Website (Including Online Classes and Resources)

Tools & Resources Mentioned


Movie to Watch

  • Venus in Furs – A mysterious, sexy actress seduces and dominates an unsuspecting theater director in Roman Polanski’s erotic, kinky comedy. Adapted from the Tony(R) Award-winning play.

Recommended Books

  • How to Raise the Perfect Dog by Cesar Millan – For the millions of people every year who consider bringing a puppy into their lives–as well as those who have already brought a dog home–Cesar Millan, the preeminent dog behavior expert, says, “Yes, you can raise the perfect dog!” It all starts with the proper foundation in the early years. Here, Cesar tells you everything you need to know to create the best environment for a well-balanced dog in order to avoid behavior issues in the future and shows you how to correct the most common behavior issues for young dogs.
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