The Lie of Female Success & How It’s Keeping You Stuck, Unfulfilled & Drained

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June 14, 2018

#63 | Own Your Story: Overcoming Insecurity and Finding Your Path with Kay Fabella

About This Episode

“Yes, I am worthy. Yes, I am enough.” These words might seem simple, but for many of us, having this kind of confidence in ourselves and our abilities is hard. We live our lives with an internal dialogue of doubt, insecurity, and shame. How can we push past this toxic thinking and share our stories with the world? How can we use storytelling to build better professional and personal relationships?

“If you don’t love yourself, how is your client going to love you?”

Kay Fabella is a storyteller and communications strategist for entrepreneurs who are in the middle of a “business pivot.” Having lived in Spain for eight years, Kay has established herself as a storytelling authority for Spanish entrepreneurs. In this episode, Kay shares with us the two most important factors in owning your story: knowing what you want, what you stand for and who you want to serve. By identifying these fundamental principles, we can learn how to build bridges with clients based on what they need and how our stories can best help them.

“Femininity is what women are capable of showing the world when they stand in their truth, having shed their not-enough-ness and their unworthiness for the first time.”

Kay grew up in Los Angeles, California, to two parents from the Philippines. While she was earning her undergraduate degree in International Relations and Economics, she studied abroad in Spain. Upon her return to the U.S., as she graduated and was hired at her first corporate job, Kay knew that she had unfinished business in Spain. She moved back to teach English for a year, met her now-husband, and has lived there ever since. Along the way, she started her own business as a storyteller and consultant, and grew by presenting herself and her story with purpose and confidence.

“We build relationships on trust, on understanding, and on this need for human connection.”

Join us for an open conversation about dealing with the insecurities we all struggle with, getting out of our own way, and owning our stories. Kay will take us through her journey from study abroad student to expat entrepreneur.

“Life is too short to hide who you really are.”

Links

Kay’s Website

Free About Page Audit

Tools & Resources Mentioned

Apps

  • Slack – Slack brings all your team’s communication together, giving everyone a shared workspace where conversations are organized and accessible.
  • Trello – Trello’s boards, lists, and cards enable you to organize and prioritize your projects in a fun, flexible and rewarding way.
  • Zoom – Zoom makes video and web conferencing frictionless. Founded in 2011, Zoom is the leader in modern enterprise video communications, with a secure, easy platform for video and audio conferencing, messaging, and webinars across mobile, desktop, and room systems.
  • Day One – Day One is a journaling app for the iPhone, iPad and Mac. Record life as you live it. From once-in-a-lifetime events to everyday moments, Day One’s elegant interface makes journaling your life a simple pleasure.

People/Blogs to Follow

  • Brene Brown – Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of four #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, and Braving the Wilderness. Her new book, Dare to Lead: Bold Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts., is scheduled for publication in October 2018. Brené’s TED talk – The Power of Vulnerability – is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 35 million views.
  • SuperSoul Sunday – The Emmy award-winning SuperSoul Sunday is a daytime series on OWN that delivers insight and inspiration from renowned thought leaders to awaken viewers to their best selves and discover a deeper connection to the world around them. Each week, enjoy mind-nourishing conversations between Oprah and top thinkers, authors and spiritual luminaries.
  • Elizabeth Gilbert – Elizabeth is best known, however for her 2006 memoir EAT PRAY LOVE, which chronicled her journey alone around the world, looking for solace after a difficult divorce. The book was an international bestseller, translated into over thirty languages, with over 10 million copies sold worldwide. Her latest novel, THE SIGNATURE OF ALL THINGS, published in Autumn 2013, is a sprawling tale of 19th century botanical exploration. O Magazine named it “the novel of a lifetime”, and the Wall Street Journal called it “the most ambitious and purely-imagined work of (Gilbert’s) twenty-year career.”
  • Justin Baldoni – Justin Baldoni wants to start a dialogue with men about redefining masculinity — to figure out ways to be not just good men but good humans. In a warm, personal talk, he shares his effort to reconcile who he is with who the world tells him a man should be. And he has a challenge for men: “See if you can use the same qualities that you feel make you a man to go deeper,” Baldoni says. “Your strength, your bravery, your toughness: Are you brave enough to be vulnerable? Are you strong enough to be sensitive? Are you confident enough to listen to the women in your life?”

Recommended Books

  • Braving the Wilderness by Brene Brown – “True belonging doesn’t require us to change who we are. It requires us to be who we are.” Social scientist Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, has sparked a global conversation about the experiences that bring meaning to our lives—experiences of courage, vulnerability, love, belonging, shame, and empathy. In Braving the Wilderness, Brown redefines what it means to truly belong in an age of increased polarization. With her trademark mix of research, storytelling, and honesty, Brown will again change the cultural conversation while mapping a clear path to true belonging.
  • All Marketers Are Liars (Tell Stories) by Seth Godin – As Seth Godin has taught hundreds of thousands of marketers and students around the world, great marketers don’t talk about features or even benefits. Instead, they tell a story—a story we want to believe, whether it’s factual or not. In a world where most people have an infinite number of choices and no time to make them, every organization is a marketer, and all marketing is about telling stories.
  • Start With Why by Simon Sinek – START WITH WHY shows that the leaders who’ve had the greatest influence in the world all think, act, and communicate the same way — and it’s the opposite of what everyone else does. Sinek calls this powerful idea The Golden Circle, and it provides a framework upon which organizations can be built, movements can be led, and people can be inspired. And it all starts with WHY.
  • Crazy Rich Asians by Kevin Kwan – When New Yorker Rachel Chu agrees to spend the summer in Singapore with her boyfriend, Nicholas Young, she envisions a humble family home and quality time with the man she hopes to marry. But Nick has failed to give his girlfriend a few key details. One, that his childhood home looks like a palace; two, that he grew up riding in more private planes than cars; and three, that he just happens to be the country’s most eligible bachelor. On Nick’s arm, Rachel may as well have a target on her back the second she steps off the plane, and soon, her relaxed vacation turns into an obstacle course of old money, new money, nosy relatives, and scheming social climbers.

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