#35 | Sexual Trauma, Social Taboos & Undressing Purity Culture with Rachel Halder
About This Episode
How has the taboo of sexuality and sex influenced your experiences with your female body as well as your intimate relationships? Most of us don’t think about the consequences that shaming culture has on our brains and our daily lives.
According to Rachel Halder, a sacred sexuality coach, even though you have not experienced sexual trauma, you still might be affected by the negative connotation of sexuality and sex of our culture.
“For women to have autonomy, being able to speak their needs and desires, and being able to say ‘No’- none of that is being talked about in the Christian aspect of religion and purity culture.”
On this episode, we uncover the main effects that purity culture and religion has on our disconnection from the body as well as the shame and the damaging thoughts that come with these effects. We discuss how as children we create a belief system about what sex is and how bad it is, and how when becoming adults we let these beliefs and the unconscious patterns guide our sexual behavior.
“In Christianity sex is such a secretive topic. It is talked about in such a shaming and condemning way. How painful is that for people who are growing up exploring their sexuality, understanding who they are in the world, and trying to navigate gender dynamics.”
Rachel and I also share our sexual trauma incidents and discuss how we can heal our past traumas, connect with our bodies and start having healthy intimate relationships with our partners.
“There’s got to be more than me being angry and pissed off at the world all the time… There’s got to be more.”
Tools & Resources Mentioned
- Planoly – Manage, plan, and schedule your Instagram posts from your computer and mobile phones. Create a cohesive Instagram feed and manage multiple Instagram accounts.
People/Blogs to Follow
- Luna Dietrich on Instagram – Sexual Empowerment Coach & Educator. Born from orgasmic bliss, Pussy Witch is a radically inclusive, sex positive agenda for the ecosex revolution.
- Tina Maria Elena Bak on Instagram – Half Danish/half French visual artist based in Odense, Denmark, specialized in sensual and erotic art from a woman’s point of view. Her work is primarily handcut collages, watercolor and acrylic paintings.
- One Willow Apothecaries on Instagram – Asia Suler is a writer, teacher, herbalist and energy worker who lives in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Western NC. She is the creator and concoctress behind One Willow Apothecaries, a small Appalachian-grown business that offers handmade and heartfelt medicine.
- “Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life” by Emily Nagoski – An essential exploration of why and how women’s sexuality works—based on groundbreaking research and brain science—that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.
- “Tao Tantric Arts for Women: Cultivating Sexual Energy, Love, and Spirit” by Minke de Vos – Awaken sexual energy for radiant love and empowerment, healing of emotional trauma and chronic conditions, and celebration of each stage of a woman’s life. Through the Taoist tantric arts, women can experience the full flowering of their sexual energy. Rooted in Chinese energy medicine, Universal Healing Tao practices, and ancient Taoist traditions from the Yellow Emperor and his three female advisors, these practices honor and celebrate each stage of a woman’s life and allow women to awaken their genuine feminine sexuality–receptive, soft, sensitive, intuitive, and creative–rather than the masculine approach that focuses on strength, endurance, and control.