A Thank You Letter to Men
I love you and I thank you. For never making me feel like I’m less deserving because I am a woman. For understanding that I am different but still acknowledging that we are in this together.
I thank you for caring. About what I think and what I have to say in a meeting, on stage, on a date or on social media. For treating me as an equal partner or an opponent in an intellectual debate while ignoring our physical differences (I know it gets tough sometimes.) And for asking my opinion on the color of your shirt or those draperies.
Thank you for always treating me with respect and never making me feel like gender plays a role. Thank you for understanding that feminine energy is what makes the world go around and that the world needs more of it.
I thank you for making an effort to study the female nature and always trying to be careful, gentle and understanding. For taking the time to understand that females are exquisite creatures with their own wants and needs and a deep mystical soul.
I thank you for enduring my yelling and my emotional overwhelm when I feel anger or frustration and for not walking away.
Thank you for not giving up.
I thank you for understanding that I am a highly emotional being; that I go through painful periods and moon cycles and that I need to be handled with care. I thank you for taking the time to ask me “What’s wrong?” and patiently listening to what I have to say (even though there is a game to watch on TV or some work to be done.)
I thank you for leaving me alone and giving me space to create and express myself fully through writing, painting, dancing or riding a motorcycle. I know you love when I’m taking care of myself and do the things I love.
I thank you for not making me feel like I’m #drama when I really have a lot to express and when life gets really hard. Because it does get difficult at times.
I thank you for helping me figure life out and sometimes, understanding that it doesn’t have to be complicated and things are way easier than I thought they are.
Thank you for being there when I feel small, frustrated and stressed. Thank you for the strong shoulder that I can lay on and forget about the world. For holding the space where I can openly tell you how I feel and that I don’t know what to do next. For giving me the assurance that together we will figure it all out.
I thank you for appreciating my potential and asking for my opinion on matters that require delicacy and intuitive thinking as well as fierce determination and strength.
Thank you for seeing me as a trusted advisor and a partner in crime. I know my opinion matters and my input is valuable to you and you always carry it with respect and high value.
I thank you for carrying my luggage, groceries and sometimes, my “problems” because you understand that the weight of these issues can be quite overwhelming and heavy…
I thank you for wanting to be needed and helpful.
I thank you for acknowledging that I am shorter in height and helping me get the stuff I need from the top shelves. For carrying me on your shoulders so I can see better the band on stage or making sure I stand in front of everyone so I can admire the street demonstrations…
Thank you for helping me solve the issues with the handyman, putting together IKEA furniture, the little house for my cat and lending me money to pay for my rent when the ATM machine had eaten my debit card…
I thank you for being patient with me when I take five (or more like 25) minutes longer to get ready to go out. Thank you for waiting…
I thank you for being a great friend when I need you to be. For picking up and dropping me off, for helping me move to a new place, for taking photoshoots with me for free, for cooking delicious food, for painting my walls, for letting me crash, for paying for taxis and drinks and yes, for wiping my tears.
Thank you for paying for my coffees, lunches and dinners, hotels and Ubers and taking me to amazing places.Thank you for the bubbly champagne nights in the bathtubs, weekend trips to the mountains, expensive lingerie and surprise skydiving gifts.
Thank you for planning our dates, taking an effort to impress me and make me feel like a queen.
Thank you for wanting to please me in bed, for going places no one has ever gone before with care, softness and caution.
I thank you for trying to understand my wants and needs. I appreciate the effort. I appreciate when you come up to me at the bar striking a conversation with an intention to get my number or to get me into bed. I understand it’s hard and it takes balls to come up to a beautiful woman and start talking. I also understand that you have been educating yourself on approaching women and sometimes, you have been painfully rejected.
I thank you accepting my rejection gracefully and with respect.
Thank you for advice on how I should proceed in a difficult situation when I ask. And for being open for any of my questions and concerns. For letting me know that I can always count on you no matter what time of day it is.
Thank you for your support, encouragement and belief that I can do anything even if I don’t have a dick.
I thank you for always treating me with care and respect and for not intending to hurt my feelings. Sometimes you are hurting my feelings but I know it is not deliberate.
Thank you for the times you hurt me emotionally because those were the times I had to go through to understand why I let you hurt me. And I grew personally, emotionally and mentally. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to fall low and climb back on top. I will not live my life in blame and hatred. I choose light and I choose emotional freedom.
Thank you for opening up, being vulnerable and showing me your full, unquestionable commitment and love even if you have been hurt before. Thank you for going through your pain and letting me love you.
Thank you for making me feel like a priority. I appreciate your faith in me and I promise to hold your love in a safe space where together we can create a beautiful union of trust, power and love.
Thank you for letting me know that no matter what happens, you will be there for me, our children and our family. Our union is strong because of two whole individuals coming together to create a beautiful partnership. We are whole by ourselves but together we can conquer the world.
I thank you for working hard to make sure you and I have a better life and we buy that beautiful house by the beach, the red Tesla car and my new iPhone 6. I know I can earn it all myself but doing it together makes me feel fuller. I want to be able to share my joy and happiness with my partner. I thank you for the countless hours in front of the computer setting up landing pages, recording podcasts and trying to figure it all out while I put our baby to sleep. And I thank you for working hard at the office, at the store or at the factory to make sure there is food on the table.
I thank you for appreciating my natural beauty and not making me feel like I’m less, like I’m small or undeserving of your love.
Thank you for loving me for who I am and not wanting me to be someone else. Thank you for kissing my eyes, legs and my bum every morning when I wake up and for providing me with an experience of an orgasm.
Thank you for raising your daughter like she is an equal member of society and has equal opportunities with men. For letting her know that she can do whatever she wants with her life and achieve success on her own terms.
Thank you for treating your mother with respect, love and care even when you know her love might be the reason why you’re not where you want to be yet.
Thank you for being the big brother for your sister and letting her always feel like she’s protected, supported and cared for.
I also want to thank you for being patient with me while I am trying to identify my role in this world of power, justice and feminism. While I am figuring out how to stay feminine and strong at the same time; how to run my online business with 10 employees and still be girly and cook pancakes for you on Saturdays; how to manage huge budgets and teams of people and still remain calm and gentle with you in bed…
I know that like me, you’re not sure anymore what exactly feminism is or has become but I appreciate your patience and your willingness to work with me on figuring this out together.
Because together we can figure it out. Together we can create a future that is not only female but also balanced. Because I want a future with men in it. I want a future where we rule together and not apart. Where we are partners or allies and not competitors or enemies.
And lastly, I want to thank you for making me feel like a woman. Like I’m your woman and you’re ready to listen and ask, respect and acknowledge, protect and provide when I need you to.
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